


Escape the Disney

by ETNMystic



Category: Disney - All Media Types, Escape the Night (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 04:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: Because I accidentally deleted the entire work.





	1. Prince Joey (Prince Ali)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Joey!

**Prince Joey:**

**Male Chorus 1:**

Manny MUA

Matthew Patrick

Tyler Oakley

Roi Fabito

Alex Burriss

Matthew Haag

Bretman Rock

**Male Chorus 2:**

Jesse Wellens

Shane Dawson

Destorm Power

Timothy DeLaGhetto

Dooper

Mortimer Wilson

Septimus

**Female Chorus 1:**

Tana Mongeau

Sierra Furtado

Justine Ezarik

Glozell Green

Colleen Ballinger

Safiya Nygaard

Andrea Russett

Nora

Ines

Rene

Londyn

**Female Chorus 2:**

Gabbie Hanna

Nikita Dragun

Andrea Brooks

Lele Pons

Eva Gutowski

Teala Dunn

Rosanna Pansino

Lauren Riihimaki

Mystic

Alice

Stella

Kerrie

 

* * *

 

**Male Chorus 1:** Make way for Prince Joey!

**Male Chorus 2:** Say hey! It's Prince Joey!

**Liza:** Hey! Clear the way in L.A.'s Bazaar

Hey you!

Let us through!

It's a bright new star!

Oh come!

Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

**Liza:** Make way!

Here he comes!

Ring bells! Bang the drums!

Are you gonna love this guy!

**Liza:** Prince Joey! Fabulous he!

Joey Graceffa

Don't regret, show some respect

Down on one knee!

Now, try your best to stay calm

Brush up, let him read your palm!

Then come and meet his spectacular coterie

**Liza:** Prince Joey!

Mighty is he!

Joey Graceffa!

Strong as ten regular men, definitely!

**Helga:**  He faced the galloping hordes

**Little Liza:**  A hundwed bad guys with swowds

**Liza:** Who sent those goons to their lords?

**All:** Why, Prince Joey!

**Male Chorus 2:** He's got seventy-five golden crystals

**Liza:** (Don't they look lovely, Ro?)

**Female Chorus 1:** Purple crystals

He's got fifty-three.

**Liza:** (Fabulous, Tyler, I love the sparkles!)

**Liza:** When it comes to exotic-type jewels

Has he got a zoo?

I'm telling you,

**All:** it's a world-class menagerie!

**Liza:** Prince Joey! Handsome is he,

**Female Chorus 2:** (There's no question that Joey's alluring)

**Liza:** Joey Graceffa!

**Female Chorus 2:** (Never ordinary, never boring)

**Liza:** That physique! How can I speak?

Weak at the knee

**Female Chorus 2:** (Everything about the man just plain impresses)

**Liza:** Well, get on out in that square

**Female Chorus 2:** (He's a winner, he's a whiz, a wonder!)

**Liza:** Adjust yourself and prepare

**Female Chorus 2:** (He's about to pull my heart asunder!)

**Liza:** To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Joey!

**Female Chorus 2:** (And I absolutely love the way he dresses!)

**MC 2 & FC 1: **He's got ninety-five white Persian huskies.

**MC 1 & FC 2: **(He's got the huskies, let's see the huskies)

**MC 2 & FC 1: **And to pet them he charges no fee

**Female Chorus 2:** (He's generous, so generous)

**MC 2 & FC 1: **He's got friends, he's got crystals and Wolfies

**Male Chorus 1:** (Proud to be with him)

**Female Chorus 1:** They spend time with him, love knowing him

**MC 2 & FC 2: **They're just lousy with loyalty

**All:** to Joey! Prince Joey!

**All:** Prince Joey!

Amorous he! Joey Graceffa

**Liza:** Heard Prince Daniel is a sight lovely to see

And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by

**All:** With sixty huskies, and crystals galore

With his books and larks

A show and a storm

With his forty steaks or, his clowns, his bakers

His wolves that howl on key

Make way for Prince Joey!


	2. Cursed God (Gaston)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why the hell not?

**Cursed God (Gaston):**

**_Cursed God:_ ** _Who does she think she is?_

_That girl has tangled with the wrong man!_

_No one says "no" to the Cursed God!_

**_Calvin:_ ** _Huh! Darn right._

_**Cursed God:**  _ _Dismissed! Rejected!_ _Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear._

_**Calvin:**  _ _More beer?_

**_Cursed God:_ ** _What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced._

**_Calvin:_ ** _Who, you? Never! My Lord, you've got to pull yourself together._

* * *

**Calvin:** Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Cursed God

Looking so down in the dumps

Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Cursed God

Even when taking your lumps

In Eternity, no one's admired as you

You're ev'ryone's favorite guy

Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why.

**The Three Witches:** *swoon.*

**Calvin:** No one's slick as Cursed God

No one's quick as Cursed God

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Cursed God's

There's no god anywhere half as godly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

**Calvin and Chorus:** No one's been like Cursed God

A king pin like Cursed God

**Calvin:** No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Cursed God

**Cursed God:** As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

**Calvin and Chorus:** My what a guy, the Cursed God!

Give five "hurrahs!"

Give twelve "hip-hips!"

**Calvin:** Cursed God is the best

And the rest is all drips!

**Chorus:** No one fights like Cursed God

Douses lights like Cursed God

**Luke:** In a wrestling match nobody bites like Cursed God!

**The Three Witches:** For there's no one as burly and brawny

**Cursed God:** As you see I've got biceps to spare

**Calvin:** Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

**Cursed God:** _That's right!_

And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

**Chorus:** No one hits like Cursed God

Matches wits like Cursed God

**Calvin:** In a spitting match nobody spits like Cursed God

**Cursed God:** I'm especially good at expectorating!

_Ptoooie!_

**Chorus:** Ten points for Cursed God!

**Cursed God:** When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Ev'ry morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

**Chorus:** No one shoots like Cursed God

Woos those beauts like Cursed God

**Calvin:** Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Cursed God

**Cursed God:**  For my wedding, I soon will be decorating!

**Chorus:** My what a guy,

Cursed God!


	3. This Mess (Honor To Us All)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because why not?

**This Mess:**

 

**Chorus:**

Lilith*

Sorceress*

Vera*

Kerrie*

Sally*

High Tower*

Sarah*

Lucy*

Vampire Queen

 

Pharaoh's Wife

Emperor's Mom

Veronica

Madison

Madison's Sisters

Possessed Girl

Caroline Eastwick's Ghost

Kali

Jorogumo

Kira

Haruko

Gingerbread Woman

Ice Witch

Female Twin Doll

Sandra

Debra

Belle

 

**Bridesmaids:**

Rosanna Pansino*

Andrea Russett*

NervousAliceCurious*

Gabbie Hanna*

Tana Mongeau

Safiya Nygaard

Liza Koshy

Justine Ezarik

Lauren Riihimaki

Sierra Furtado

Penelope Dowry

Teala Dunn

Glozell Green

Colleen Ballinger

Andrea Brooks 

Lele Pons

Eva Gutowski

Rene

Ines

Stella

Londyn

Nora

Arya

Celeste

Kyrie

Nanami Chiaki

 

*Denotes featured singing part

**Lilith:** This is what you give me to work with  
No matter, I've dealt with those.  
We're going to turn this hot mess

**Mystic:** [yells as LILITH pushes her into a tub]

**Lilith:** into a blue rose.

**Mystic:** It's too hot!

**Calliope:** It would've been too cold if we just left it as is.

**Lilith:** We'll have you washed and dried  
Primped and polished till you glow with pride  
Trust my recipe for instant bride  
You'll bring chaos to this mess

**Calliope:** Mystic, what's this? [sees something taped to her underarm]

**Mystic:** Ehh...a hairpin. To stab his eyeball with.

**Nikita:** Here hold this [hands CALLIOPE a switchblade]. We'll need more backup than I thought.

**Sorceress:** Wait and see

When we're through

**Vera:** He'll make sure that no one comes for you

**Sorceress:** With good fortune

**Vera:** And some magic too

**Both:** You'll bring chaos to this mess

 

**Chorus:**

Dear Mystic can bring unto us

great chaos in one way

Marrying the Cursed God

And this could be the day

 

**Kerrie:** He want you with good taste

**Sally:** Pure

**High Tower:** and Innocent

**Kerrie:** Arrive post-haste

**Sally:** With good singing

**High Tower:** And a babyface

**All Three:** You'll bring chaos to this mess

 

**Chorus:**

We all must serve our Cursed God

For stopping the SAE

Today she'll be our queen

And Mystic won't be free!

 

**Sarah/Lucy [overlapping]:**

When we're through

You'll be sure

Like a lotus blossom

Soft and pure

How could anybody

Say "No Sir"

You'll bring chaos to this mess.

 

**Calliope:** There - you're ready

 

**Nikita:** Not yet

A knife to stab a bitch.

A tranquilizer for escape.

Bags of teastones for convenience.

You must sway and will him.

And add a penny just for luck

Bitch, go on out and kill him.

 

**Mystic:**

Somebody

Hear my plea

I really don't want to

get married

Someone save me. 

I was too naive.   


Look at me, I'm in distress.

 

**Mystic and Bridesmaids:**  

Here's the day we've all been dreading

This will be like the Red Wedding.

 

**Chorus:** Destiny

Guard these girls

And our future

as it fast unfurls

Please look kindly on

these beauteous pearls

Look at Mystic's lovely dress

 

**Ro:** Someone save me from this 

**Andrea R:** Someone save me from this 

**Alice:** Someone save me from this 

**Gabbie:** Someone save me from this 

**Mystic and Bridesmaids:** Someone save us from this mess.


	4. Pure Sunlight (Hellfire)

**Pure Sunlight** **:** **  
  
Lilith:** Maledictus fateor me ad Deum  
Ecce oculi vitium  
Video infirmitatem ossa tua  
Quis est in potestate mea

 **Cursed God:** Oh, Lilith Divola  
You know I am an evil man  
Of my torture I am justly proud

**Lilith:** Tu es timidus

**Cursed God:** Oh, Lilith Divola  
You know I'm much less purer than  
The common, normal, weak, cowardly crowd

**Lilith:** Ubi est consilium?

**Cursed God:** Then tell me, Divola  
Why I hear her singing there  
Why her doe-like eyes still kiss my soul.

**Lilith:** Cogitationes?

**Cursed God:** I feel her, I see her  
The sun caught in her golden [hair  
](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946137/chapters/42381824#) Is blazing in me out of all [control](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946137/chapters/42381824#)

**Lilith:** Ubi est mens tua?

**Cursed God:** Like sunlight  
Pure Sunlight  
This sunlight in my skin  
This burning  
Desire  
Is turning me from sin

It's not my fault

**Lilith:** Tua culpa

**Cursed God:** I'm not to blame

**Lilith:** Tua culpa

**Cursed God:** It is the virgin girl  
Mystic who sent this flame.

**Lilith:** Tu [maxima](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946137/chapters/42381824#) culpa

**Cursed God:** It's not my fault

**Lilith:** Tua culpa

**Cursed God:** If in Fate’s plan

**Lilith:** Tua culpa

**Cursed God:** They made that virgin stronger than this evil man.

**Lilith:** Tu maxima culpa

**Cursed God:** Protect me, Divola.  
Don't let that angel cast her spell.  
Don't let her sunlight sear my flesh and bone.  
Destroy LttlLovely  
And let her taste the fires of hell  
And make Mystic be mine and mine alone.

Pure Sunlight.  
That pure light.  
Now Mystic, it's your turn.  
Choose me or  
Her pyre.  
Be mine or she will burn!

**Lilith:** Et defectum

**Cursed God:** Fate have mercy on her

**Lilith:** Et defectum

**Cursed God:** Fate have mercy on me

**Lilith:** Et defectum

**Cursed God:** But she will be mine  
The world will burn!


	5. Be Prepared

**Be Prepared:**

[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
I never thought monsters essential  
They're wild and unspeakably plain  
But maybe they've a glimmer of potential  
If allied to my vision and brain

(sung)  
I know that your powers of retention  
Are as wet as a warthog's backside  
But–thick as you are–pay attention!  
My words are a matter of pride  
  
It's clear from your vacant expressions  
The lights are not all on upstairs  
But we're talking kings and successions  
Even you can't be caught unawares!  
  
So prepare for an eternity of chaos  
Be prepared for my worship in spades  
A shining new era  
Is tiptoeing nearer  
  
[LILITH]  
And where do we feature?  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
Just listen to teacher  
I know it sounds sordid  
But you'll be rewarded  
When at last I am given my bride  
And injustice deliciously squared  
Be prepared!  
  
[KERRIE, spoken]  
Yeah, be prepared! Haha! We'll be prepared! For what?  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
For the death of the Society!  
  
[KERRIE, spoken]  
Why? Is it sick?  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
No, bitch, we're going to kill it. And Jael too!  
  
[LILITH, spoken]  
Great idea! Who needs a ruler?  
  
[LILITH & KERRIE & CALVIN, spoken]  
No more rulers, la la la la la la!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Idiots! There will be rulers!

[KERRIE, spoken]  
Hey, but you said, uh...  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
My bride and I shall rule! Stick with us, and you'll never go hungry again!  
  
[MONSTERS, spoken]  
Yeah! Alright! Long live the rulers!  
Long live the rulers!  
Long live the ruler!  
  
(sung)  
It's great that we'll soon be connected  
With a pair who is all-time adored  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected  
To take certain duties on board  
The future is littered with prizes  
And though I'm the main addressee  
The point that I must emphasize is  
You won't get a sniff without me!  
  
[CURSED GOD & MONSTERS]  
So prepare for the coup of eternity (Oooh!)  
Be prepared for the chaos and storm (Oooh... La! La! La!)  
Meticulous planning (We'll have slaves!)  
Tenacity spanning (Lots of slaves)  
Decades of denial (We will reap)  
Is simply why I'll (Endless meat)  
Be ruler undisputed (Aaah...)  
Respected, saluted (...aaah...)  
And she'll see what the wonder I am (...aaah!)  
Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared (Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)  
Be prepared!  
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared  
Be prepared!

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. The Madness of the Cursed God (The Madness of King Scar)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the beginning of the Possession, Mystic visits the Cursed God and his plans for her are first revealed; Alice is also being held captive.
> 
> This song is in the Broadway show, but was cut from the Disney film.

**The Madness of the Cursed God:**

[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Alice, why am I not loved?  
  
(sung)  
I am that rare and awesome thing  
I'm every inch a king  
Yet, I feel a twinge of doubt  
As I go walk about  
  
[KERRIE, spoken]  
Hey, boss!  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
When my name is whispered through the pride  
Is this talk of love or regicide?  
  
[SALLY, spoken]  
Reggie who?  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
Tell me I'm adored  
Please tell me I'm adored  
  
[KERRIE, spoken]  
Hey, boss!

[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Oh, what is it?  
  
[HIGH TOWER, spoken]  
We got a bone to pick with you  
  
[KERRIE, spoken]  
The writers refuse to write, the monsters are runnin' about!  
  
[HIGH TOWER, spoken]  
Yeah. We need them to get the writers to write and we have no stinking stories!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Oh, you and your petty complaints. You don't know what real disorder is. Day after day it gnaws at the very core of my being -  
  
[HIGH TOWER, spoken]  
I had that once. It was lice.  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
No, no, no... it's like an itch... deep, persistent, profound  
  
[HIGH TOWER, spoken]  
That's it - lice! When they get really bad all you gotta do is hunker down and scoot -  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Thanks for the tip. Ingrates! If it weren't for me you'd be beating off the monsters for a writer to control!

[CLOWNS]  
Yeah, you're our savior, thanks a lot  
But how about a spot?  
We don't care about the toll  
I need someone to control  
My sanity has moved to where its never been  
It's on the outside looking in  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Are you blaming me?  
  
[CLOWNS, spoken]  
Oh no, it's the writers  
  
(sung)  
You are so adored  
Oh, you are so adored  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
That's more like it!  
  
[KERRIE]  
But what I'd give for one more hit  
Of control over Nora or Ines  
Or maybe Alice on a spit

[ALICE, spoken]  
Oh, how I miss the Society!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
The Society?! The Society?! How dare you! I told you never to mention that name!  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Note taken. I shall never mention "S-A-E" again!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Even in death, their shadow looms over me. There they are! No! There they are! And there!  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Calm yourself......*groans* "my lord," , or you'll get another one of your splitting headaches!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
I am perfectly fine!  
  
(sung)  
I'm better than the Society was  
I'm revered - I am reviled  
I'm idolized - I am despised  
I'm keeping calm - I'm going wild!  
  
I tell myself I'm fine  
Yes, I am - no you're not  
Yes, I am - no you're not  
I tell myself I'm fine  
  
No, you're not - yes, I am!  
No, you're not - yes, I am!  
No, you're not  
Yes, no, yes, no  
Who am I talking to?  
Ah ha ha ha!  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Oh, pull yourself together, *groans* "my Lord"!  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Oh, very well. Alice? Alice, Alice, Alice?  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Yes, my....Lord?  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Nobody loves me, there's the rub. I have to beat the killers off with a club! What did the Society have that I don't have?  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Do you want the short list or the long?  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Whatever!  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Well, they had adoring subjects  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Eh.  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
A loving family  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Maybe.  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
Maybe a devoted queen  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
That's it! I need a queen!  
  
[ALICE, spoken]  
A what?  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
A queen, Alice! A queen! Without a queen, what am I? A dead-inside entity, no family, no sweetness, no love. With a queen, I'll have sweetness and with concubines, I'll have... kids! Her love will be mine! Eternity will be mine!  
  
[MYSTIC, spoken]  
You...  
  
[CURSED GOD, spoken]  
Ah, Mystic... your timing couldn't have been more perfect. My, how sweet you've become....  
  
[MYSTIC, spoken]  
Dude, you really gotta do something. We're being forced to overwrite!

  |    
---|---  
[CURSED GOD]  
She's got that innocence, feminine | [MYSTIC, spoken]  
  | You're in charge. Control the monsters!  
I have to make her mine |    
  | You're destroying reality and fiction  
Nobility in every gene |    
  | If we don't stop now... Don't you see?  
She has to be my queen |    
  | There's still a chance for things to be all right again  
Come, sweet Mystic  
It's written in the stars |    
  | What are you doing? Are you listening to me?  
The concubines will make children of ours. |    
  | What are you talking about?  
Tell me I'm adored |    
  | Get away from me!  
Tell me I'm adored - |    
  
(MYSTIC strikes CURSED GOD.)  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
Oh, Mystic... you know how I loathe violence... One way or another, you will be mine  
  
[MYSTIC]  
Fuck you, dude! Fuck you!  
  
[CURSED GOD]  
You belong to me  
You all belong to me!


End file.
